Nothing worth having ever comes easy!

...And what a crazy couple months it has been! I know the Bible says somewhere not to boast about tomorrow, because you never know what a day will bring forth.   TRUE! It has been a roller coaster.  Life can be a huge mystery.  On March 1st, I said good-bye to a dear friend.  She was instrumental in my childhood and brought so much joy to it.  She loved with arms wide open.  She laughed alot.  I dedicate this blog post to her.  Vanda Renee' Mandrell Ice.  She was a constant in my life from age 6 to age 19. When I was a little girl (maybe 2nd grade) I would say her name over and over. "Vanda Renee" Mandrell, Vanda Renee' Mandrell" I thought it was the prettiest name I had ever heard.  She took me to the beach (every day off she had one summer) she cut and permed my hair and let me tan for free at the beauty shop she worked at.  She probably paid for all of it.  She made me countless birthday cakes and dinners.  She bought me sweaters.  She cleaned the first apartment I ever lived in for me.  She was my sister-in-law, but more like a sister.  She gave of herself to people.  She was the first voice I heard, when I called to say my brother had been killed.  Ironically, 20 yrs to the date after that call, she would go to heaven too.  I am a better person because of her. 
     This semester, I am taking 16 credit hours-a lofty goal.  For one class, I have to personal train a client 3 times per week for a grade.  Another class, I have to volunteer for 30 hours and write a Integrative paper about it as well as present this information.  To put it mild, every day is a circus.  Work is busy, kids are busy, but I have a gatekeeper to my schedule.  If you know me well, you know I am a spiritual person.  I continually ask for help!  When I finally give in and say, I am not going to worry or try to figure it out-it will work out.   Then WHAM, at the last second, things will get cancelled, or rescheduled and I will have some reprieve in a busy day or be able to attend something that I thought I couldn't.  When I refuse to fret or complain, it all works out.  Because really, complaining is just a trap.  It's a huge hole we can let ourselves fall in.  Complaining just magnifies a problem or situation and make it huge and less bearable.  Refuse to give in and go here.  Protect yourself!
     On this journey to Forty and Fabulous (F&F) I have set another aim.  I want to act on my inspirations, in the big and the small things.  Answer this, how often do you have the thought to say something nice, send a thank you card or a gift for no specific reason or maybe because you saw a need? Then ask, how often do I actually do this? If you are like me, not nearly often enough.  So this year I have began the habit of acting on these inspirations.  I am sure there is more to be gained than given, as well as lots of life lessons to learn in doing this. 
     Okay, so if I am going to blog honestly, I have to admit that I have been struggling with fabulous.  Most days I admittedly feel less than fabulous.  Most of my life, I have judged myself harshly.  I have not given myself any mercy.  I am not my own best friend. It's a habit. A bad one.  In a world that obsesses over great looks and the perfect body, I have magnified all my flaws and obsessed on them.  I am hoping in my journey that I will break this bad habit.  I want to be fit and fabulous yes, but I want to finally have some self acceptance.  I am going to fix the things I can and accept the things I cannot.  (you can't make 40 year old skin look 25, at least not yet) I am learning to love myself.  Recently, on one of my "hatin on me" days, I got the best compliment.  Feeling haggard and less than fabulous one Monday morning, I ran in the gym (in a flurry with arms full, like I always do) to teach my Bodypump class.  Afterward, one of the front desk girls  I work with said this to me.  "Lori, You are a cute Mom, and I think you have a cute shape."  Every fear I had was dissipated by a nice compliment from a co-worker.  (The gatekeeper takes care of all our needs if we ask) I needed to hear that.  I am gonna let it stick with me.  I am going to remind myself of the way other people see me.  (They don't see me as the lies that invade my brain tell me they do! ) I have also learned this, if you think a compliment in your head about someone, tell them! They may need to hear it just as bad as I did that day!
  I am eating leaner and running and lifting more.  I am taking baby steps to get to my goals.  The weather is getting nice and I can't wait to get my new bike! I just have 7 weeks and then Finals until the finish line!   I CAN'T WAIT!!
That is when I will kick my goals into high gear!
     I want to end on 2 notes.  #1. Re-read how I described Vanda.  I challenge you to live your life with a great big Vanda sized heart! Make your list today, and take baby steps to get there.  #2. Below is one of my favorite quotes.  In the business of life and your days on this earth, remember this...

I never look at the masses as my responsibility.

I look at the individual.

I can only love one person at a time.

I can only feed one person at a time.

Just one, one, one….

So you begin …. I begin.

I picked up one person –

Maybe if I didn’t pick up that one person,

I wouldn’t have picked up 42,000.

The whole work is only a drop in the ocean.

But if I didn’t put the drop in,

The ocean would be one drop less.

Same thing for you,

Same thing for your family,

Same thing in your business.

Wherever you go

Just begin …. One, one, one.

Mother Teresa

Words to Love By